Posted in Uncategorized

What Happened? Social Media

When did we start letting social media control who we are? When did it start being about everyone but us?

I remember a time when we could be ourselves on social media: When being ourselves was the whole point. Now it’s turned into a sort of competition. Everyone wants to seem like they are living the best life even when they aren’t. It’s become a breeding ground for people who have either become narcissistic or depressed. There is a false sense of security with being popular online that many have become accustomed to.

Remember when we were just content with being in someone’s top friends on Myspace? Remember when we were just exited to meet other people our age from another school? Remember when we were just happy to have a way to connect with family and friends we never get to see? Now we’re more concerned about what Karen from finance thinks about our outfit. It’s not fair. We need to take it back. We need to learn how to embrace ourselves without being fearful of what everyone else might think.

For some, trolling is a full time job. They enjoy trying to make other people feel miserable. They hide behind fake google images and random images so that they can bully other people online. Why do they have so much power? It’s because we’ve given it to them. I’ve been called fat, unattractive, been told I need to lose weight, and it will probably only get worse in the future. Why? Because trolls will always exist as long as social media (actually the internet) exists. I’ve learned to tune it out and show them that I won’t be defeated by their words. I spent enough time tearing myself down, I’m not about to let others do the same.

Below is from my recent podcast where I talk a little more about this topic. Give it a listen and let me know what you think. Be sure to like, comment, share, and follow me while you’re at it.

Thanks for reading and thanks for listening!!

Posted in Uncategorized

Lupus Warriors

This post is dedicated to my strong mama, my strong auntie, and my strong sister. They each have lupus and are some of the strongest and bravest people I know: PERIOD. Each day they fight against themselves for control of their life and win. Not only are they fighters but they often times go misunderstood by even the people closest to them. Lupus isn’t something you typically see so most people who have don’t look “sick”.

For anyone who is unfamiliar, lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease. According to the Lupus Foundation of America, it is a disease that can damage any part of the body (skin, joints, and/or organs). “Chronic” means that the signs and symptoms tend to last longer than six weeks and often for many years. Each person is different and this disease manifests differently for most people. Sometimes there are noticeable signs of it on the skin but it also shows up as pain felt by the person with lupus, and not seen by others.

Those with lupus can suffer from a whole host of problems. Here are some listed below…

The most common symptoms of lupus (which are the same for men and women) are:
  • Extreme fatigue (tiredness)
  • Headaches
  • Painful or swollen joints
  • Fever
  • Anemia (low numbers of red blood cells or hemoglobin, or low total blood volume)
  • Swelling (edema) in feet, legs, hands, and/or around eyes
  • Pain in chest on deep breathing (pleurisy)
  • Butterfly-shaped rash across cheeks and nose
  • Sun- or light-sensitivity (photosensitivity)
  • Hair loss
  • Abnormal blood clotting
  • Fingers turning white and/or blue when cold
  • Mouth or nose ulcers

What’s sad is that this disease can be treated but not cured. There is research being done on this disease which you can donate to by going to the Lupus Foundation of America’s website:

https://www.lupus.org/

20180904_015716

I felt the need to discuss these ladies because lupus is still something that not very many people know of. It’s usually not noticeable to others so the pain they feel is usually greater than what they let on. Not only that, but it can lead to a whole host of other medical problems. My mom for instance, is very susceptible to getting sick because her body does not fight back properly against the disease. My sister and aunt both have had it manifest in ways such as swelling and discoloration of skin. They fight just to do everyday things most of us take for granted. That’s exactly why I made this podcast episode for them. If you have time, give it a listen.

As always, be sure to like, comment, and share.

Posted in Uncategorized

The Dark Cloud of Depression

🚨New Post Alert🚨

This is from an episode of my podcast Vitamin Key is called:

The Dark Cloud of Depression

I talk a little about my thoughts on depression, people’s perception of it, and my own experience with it. It’s not an easy thing to tell people you deal with for fear of being judged, but I think it’s important that we talk about it more if people are to start being able to deal with it.

When people think about depression they usually think about the commercials. Not the actual experience of being in a state of depression. Let’s be honest: most people don’t understand it and many don’t take the time to. It makes them uncomfortable and it’s not easy to help someone who has it. I talk a little about this in my podcast. Take a listen. Let me know what you think, and let’s talk about it.

Posted in Uncategorized

Quickie: My Top 5 Tips for Dating

I think we can all agree that dating kind of sucks in this day and age. You never know who’s playing games and who’s really looking to make a connection. One thing I’ve learned is that making a list can help make things easier. That’s why I came up with a list a of things that can make your dating life a little simpler to navigate.

In this video I cover 5 tips that have helped me and hopefully they help you too! Let me know what you think. Don’t forget to like, share, and follow.

 

Love you beautiful people!

Posted in Uncategorized

Speak Up & Speak Out

It’s never easy to admit when we need help. In fact it’s one of the hardest things to do. I’m not sure if it’s because of pride or fear but when things get overwhelming, most of us slip into our cocoon and try to figure it all out on our own. We force ourselves to carry the burden alone. It isn’t until things start to fall apart that others realize just how much pain we are in.

20180514_235246

Fear can be a huge determining factor in our lack of eagerness in seeking out help from others. There is a fear of appearing weak to others. We are taught that you should not be weak and when you express an inability to handle your problems on your own, it makes you weak. There is also fear of someone mishandling your emotions. In the back of your mind, you question if that person even cares about how you feel. That feeling can be valid at times but not because of something you’ve done wrong.

Some people do not know how to be a source of encouragement and support. When they get confronted with your feelings they are not sure how to process what you’re saying and most importantly, how to help you. Still, don’t let that discourage you! There are times where just telling someone you’re not okay can make you feel better. There are also times where other people feel so overwhelmed with their own problems that they don’t even realize just how much you have been struggling. That is why it is important to let people know when we feel like the walls are closing in.

I remember telling my mom how I got bullied in middle school and junior high. I made it to my junior year in high school before telling her and she was shocked. Being the oldest of five kids means that I spent a lot of time trying to hide my problems so my mom could focus on taking care of my younger siblings. She was hurt to find out that I had kept something like that from her and that she hadn’t been able to see it at the time. Looking back on that moment made me see how not trying to bear the burden alone could have helped me get through a very dark time in my life much easier. It also helped me see that even though she wanted to be there for me, I never gave her the chance to be.

We should also be aware that sometimes our own pride can stop us from getting the help we need. In an effort to not appear weak or look bad in front of the people in our lives we keep our hurt hidden. You have to recognize that pride is also a part of what is stopping you from letting the people you care about be there for you when you need it most. I understand how difficult it is to let anyone in that deep. It’s like baring your soul to them and asking them not to judge it.

In the past, I let anxiety rule my life. It influenced my health, my sleep, and my relationships. I didn’t want to leave the house because I believed everyone could see my anxiety. I thought they would judge me and in all honesty some of them probably did. I hid away in my room and pushed away my family, friends, and my boyfriend at the time. Most people assumed I was just being antisocial. Others didn’t press further to find out if there was a problem. At some point I was eating to find comfort and hardly slept three hours every night. Eventually I broke down to my mom and told her how bad my anxiety had gotten and through prayer and some much needed t.l.c. I was able to start healing (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually).

Whether or not you realize it, you don’t have to be afraid of saying that something is wrong. It’s okay to tell someone how anxious you are. It’s okay to tell your friends “not today” because of your depression. It is alright to let your family know you need help. If they do not understand, educate them or ask them to educate themselves about what it is you are dealing with. More often than not, most people are not well-versed on mental health. They genuinely do not understand what it is that you are going through so educating them is a must.

Research and seek information together about what you are dealing with. DO NOT be afraid of speaking up. Sometimes the people around you have struggles of their own that they are afraid to tell you. If you or anyone you know needs more information about mental health visit:

20180514_232614

https://schools.au.reachout.com/articles/recommended-mental-health-websites

This website (ReachOut.com) lists some websites to visit that pertain to mental health. You can visit:

20180514_232631

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml

The National Institute of Mental Health gives a more detailed explanation about different mental health issues with information about treatment, symptoms, and links to booklets, brochures, and etc. You can also visit:

20180514_232653

https://www.nami.org/

This website has ways to find support and even get involved in helping others who also struggle with mental health. There is no shame in seeking help. It takes a significant amount of strength to admit that you need help and even more strength to seek it. So speak up and speak out.

20180515_000216.jpg