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What Happened? Social Media

When did we start letting social media control who we are? When did it start being about everyone but us?

I remember a time when we could be ourselves on social media: When being ourselves was the whole point. Now it’s turned into a sort of competition. Everyone wants to seem like they are living the best life even when they aren’t. It’s become a breeding ground for people who have either become narcissistic or depressed. There is a false sense of security with being popular online that many have become accustomed to.

Remember when we were just content with being in someone’s top friends on Myspace? Remember when we were just exited to meet other people our age from another school? Remember when we were just happy to have a way to connect with family and friends we never get to see? Now we’re more concerned about what Karen from finance thinks about our outfit. It’s not fair. We need to take it back. We need to learn how to embrace ourselves without being fearful of what everyone else might think.

For some, trolling is a full time job. They enjoy trying to make other people feel miserable. They hide behind fake google images and random images so that they can bully other people online. Why do they have so much power? It’s because we’ve given it to them. I’ve been called fat, unattractive, been told I need to lose weight, and it will probably only get worse in the future. Why? Because trolls will always exist as long as social media (actually the internet) exists. I’ve learned to tune it out and show them that I won’t be defeated by their words. I spent enough time tearing myself down, I’m not about to let others do the same.

Below is from my recent podcast where I talk a little more about this topic. Give it a listen and let me know what you think. Be sure to like, comment, share, and follow me while you’re at it.

Thanks for reading and thanks for listening!!

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Lupus Warriors

This post is dedicated to my strong mama, my strong auntie, and my strong sister. They each have lupus and are some of the strongest and bravest people I know: PERIOD. Each day they fight against themselves for control of their life and win. Not only are they fighters but they often times go misunderstood by even the people closest to them. Lupus isn’t something you typically see so most people who have don’t look “sick”.

For anyone who is unfamiliar, lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease. According to the Lupus Foundation of America, it is a disease that can damage any part of the body (skin, joints, and/or organs). “Chronic” means that the signs and symptoms tend to last longer than six weeks and often for many years. Each person is different and this disease manifests differently for most people. Sometimes there are noticeable signs of it on the skin but it also shows up as pain felt by the person with lupus, and not seen by others.

Those with lupus can suffer from a whole host of problems. Here are some listed below…

The most common symptoms of lupus (which are the same for men and women) are:
  • Extreme fatigue (tiredness)
  • Headaches
  • Painful or swollen joints
  • Fever
  • Anemia (low numbers of red blood cells or hemoglobin, or low total blood volume)
  • Swelling (edema) in feet, legs, hands, and/or around eyes
  • Pain in chest on deep breathing (pleurisy)
  • Butterfly-shaped rash across cheeks and nose
  • Sun- or light-sensitivity (photosensitivity)
  • Hair loss
  • Abnormal blood clotting
  • Fingers turning white and/or blue when cold
  • Mouth or nose ulcers

What’s sad is that this disease can be treated but not cured. There is research being done on this disease which you can donate to by going to the Lupus Foundation of America’s website:

https://www.lupus.org/

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I felt the need to discuss these ladies because lupus is still something that not very many people know of. It’s usually not noticeable to others so the pain they feel is usually greater than what they let on. Not only that, but it can lead to a whole host of other medical problems. My mom for instance, is very susceptible to getting sick because her body does not fight back properly against the disease. My sister and aunt both have had it manifest in ways such as swelling and discoloration of skin. They fight just to do everyday things most of us take for granted. That’s exactly why I made this podcast episode for them. If you have time, give it a listen.

As always, be sure to like, comment, and share.

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Quickie: My Top 5 Tips for Dating

I think we can all agree that dating kind of sucks in this day and age. You never know who’s playing games and who’s really looking to make a connection. One thing I’ve learned is that making a list can help make things easier. That’s why I came up with a list a of things that can make your dating life a little simpler to navigate.

In this video I cover 5 tips that have helped me and hopefully they help you too! Let me know what you think. Don’t forget to like, share, and follow.

 

Love you beautiful people!

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Blogging Through Podcasts (Under Construction)

Hello you wonderful people! This post is meant to just be a quick update. I have been seriously M.I.A lately and that is because I am seriously under construction in a lot of ways right now. I want to develop this blog into something a little more visual, verbal, and also keep with the written part of what blogging is all about. Unfortunately I don’t have the funds at this moment to upgrade to the plan needed for my vision. Don’t fret though! I am putting things in place and soon I will be back better than ever. So please please please stay tuned for more. If you really miss me, make sure you are following my on Instagram @keyradominique and you can also keep up with what’s going on my liking and visiting my model page on Facebook (also Keyra Dominique). For now I am dropping a few links to my podcast ‘Vitamin Key’ which you can find on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Anchor.

Anchor: https://anchor.fm/keyra-dominique

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/7e21GpBz19Q2z0dry4Jm1J?si=4VWQ0K8yQbG2OGX2oe2AXA

Thanks for the patience, love, and support!

Toodles,

Keyra

Posted in blog, Uncategorized

Unboxing Part 2 (Summer Haul)

Okay so as promised here is my post on my second unboxing but this time there’s a twist! The company I am trying out this time is Gwynnie Bee. Unlike Dia & Co., I didn’t try the full service because they are a bit pricier compared to my budget. Since I am trying the 30 day trial you can only try two things at a time. I’m not too upset about that because the way they do their boxing service is different.

With Dia & Co. you try on the five items sent in your box and get five days to try them on before sending them back. If you do not want everything in your box be sure to send back what you don’t want within the time frame. If you use Gwynnie Bee it acts an online closet of sorts. You are basically renting the clothes that you wear for a set price each month. If hearing the word rent turns you off, remember a lot of celebrities do essentially the same thing when attending events. So just think of yourself as an A-list celebrity trying on brands from different companies.

Gwynnie Bee allows you to pick items you really like online or using the app and you add them to your online closet. If you’re especially fond of something, be sure to mark it as top priority in order to increase the likelihood that it is what they send to you first. Their pricing is based on the number of items you can check out at a time. For example, to have three items out at a time means you would be paying $95 a month.

I will include a picture below of how the pricing works:

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As you can see, the pricing is not for the faint of heart but it might be worth trying first for 30 days like I did and deciding for yourself whether it is a service you want to continue. It’s my goal to try several of these types of services and give my honest opinion of it. Besides, who doesn’t the idea of shopping made easy. Just like Dia & Co., you can send these back, exchange them, and buy them a lower retail price if you fall in love with it.

Now, time for the juicy stuff! When you receive your box it should come in a box like this:

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Purple is my favorite color so I was oddly excited that my return bag was purple. Inside the box is a cute little letter, the purple return bag, and your clothes are wrapped in purple tissue paper. For my first box, I opted for two dresses. One is a denim dress and the other is a light almost washed out blue colored dress.

This is the denim dress:

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Here is the other dress:

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On the models both of these dresses seemed like great additions to my wardrobe. The reviews on the first dress were mixed so I decided it would be best to see for myself. I was not completely against the idea of liking it because I’ve been wanting a dress like it for a while now. The second dress had virtually no good reviews. Most of the reviews I read either centered on the fact that the corset-belt was not tight enough around the waist of the dress or they felt that the dress made them look shapeless. I held fairly high hopes for the first dress and just sent up a prayer for the second one.

Item #1- Plenty dress by Tracy Reese

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Pros:
The dress itself is well made and the color is identical to the picture on the website. I also feel that if you have a fuller bosom, this dress would compliment it well and emphasize the cleavage. If you have a little more to love around the midsection, do not be afraid of this dress. It is fairly roomy in the stomach area so it will probably hug your belly without making it the focal point of your outfit.

Cons:

As you can see, this dress fit me nothing like it did the model. This dress was the one I was most excited for but did not end up liking. At first I thought maybe I had ordered a size too big but some areas were a little snug while others were loose. If I had gone down a size, I’m sure that it would be too tight. Sizing aside, the fit itself is a bit problematic. I believe that part of it has to do with my shape. The bottom half of the dress fit fairly well but the top half of the dress swallowed me. Despite my wide hips, my waist is somewhat small in comparison. This means that even though the dress was able to accommodate my hips, it was not made to fit a waist that is not as wide as the hips themselves. Some people disliked the split so I’ll mention. I personally didn’t find this to be very problematic.

Item #2- Front Tie Corset Tiered Sleeve Blue Dress2018-05-29_168445476072098829466.jpg20180518_1912363083752941633098900.jpg

Pros:

If you can’t tell by my poses, I was getting my life in this dress! It gave me a medieval feel mixed with a little bit of flower child. Although some people felt that this dressed swallowed them up, I felt that it fit my body just right. There are three types of dresses that I love: flowy, body-con, and maxi. This dress had all the frills and flow I could want. It didn’t feel baggy on me or heavy. The material was nice and surprisingly had very little wrinkles on it. The dress had a very feminine feel to it and made me feel girly (contrary to popular belief, I am definitely a tomboy). If you have larger breast and don’t feel the need to emphasize your rear-end this dress leaves a good deal of room up top. I feel that one of the biggest pros is that this dress is diverse. It can fit in a lot of different style categories.

Cons:

The belted part does not tighten so if you are looking for a more cinched look, this dress is not the one for you. The color of the dress is also a little darker than the one the model is wearing.

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Final Verdict:

I definitely feel that it is worth trying the 30 day trial. Getting the subscription itself is still to be determined. The biggest factor turning me away from investing in this service is the price range. While the items you receive are of great quality, the pricing is not feasible if you are on a tight budget. I also feel that the selection of items is fairly limited in terms of diversity. Most of the clothes I’ve seen appear to be for women who wear a lot of busness attire.

I do like that they apply sizing suggestions for all the clothes you look at based on the size you entered. It is also convenient to be able to see what it is that will be sent to in your next box. Having more input in what is sent to you is definitely a plus. Another upside to this service is that you can recycle the same clothes back. You can also keep the clothes for as long as you want. They even dry clean the clothes you send back you don’t have to worry about washing them yourselves. Shipping is also free so you don’t have to worry your pretty little head over that!

I will be sending back both dresses soon, so I will be sure to update you guys on the next set of clothes I receive. If you decide to try this service for yourself let me know in the comments. If there are any other services you want me to try just shoot me a comment with the name of the company. Hopefully you enjoyed this post and it was informative. I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog. Don’t forget to please like, comment, share, and follow me for more content! Tell your friends, family, coworkers, or a random stranger (I’m not picky) to check out my blog as well!

 

 

Posted in blog

Love You Without Hating Them

This post is inspired by a comment I saw recently on Instagram. Someone commented “this is what real women look like” on a post of a plus size blogger. Now I realize this was meant to be a compliment and it was meant as a way to uplift. I did not misunderstand the intent but still felt unsettled by it. Phrases like “real women” and “real bodies” are terms that have never really sat right with me because they are usually made in reference to plus size women or women who have a little more to love around the midsection.

As many of you know, I am a body positivity activist. I want people to love their bodies: period. While I do advocate for plus size people, that is mostly as a result of the fact that I am plus size myself. I recognize the need for people like me to see themselves represented in a positive way so that they can learn to feel the same about themselves. That does not mean that this desire extends ONLY to plus sized people.

There are many people who do not have positive body images of themselves. This problem is relevant to many people and is an issue that I recognize is not only relevant to one type of person. So when I hear or read things that emphasize any one body type as being “real” it makes me uncomfortable. It allows for a line to be drawn in the sand that helps no one but could potentially harm a lot of people. The image below is an example that shows just how diverse beauty can be. Which of them represents real beauty? Trick question. They all do. Every woman in this picture is a real woman that represents a real body that other women can identify with and see themselves in.

The body positivity movement was largely born as a result of a need for acceptance: self-acceptance and making society see that it needs to accept more body types as being beautiful. People who don’t fit society’s static idea of beauty wanted to see a shift in the narrative of what can and should be considered beautiful. The problem is, in an effort to fight for that acceptance, we isolate other people who fit into the traditional idea of beauty.

You’ve seen it before: skinny girl fat shames plus sized girl and/or plus sized girl shames skinny girl for being skinny. The fixation society has with pitting women against each other is sad. You see it all the time with movies. The skinny girl is made to be the bully and the fluffier girl is written as a character who is bullied. It’s no wonder that real life imitates this very toxic relationship. The difference is, now the bullying is being done by both parties and hiding behind a mask of positivity.

This leads me back to my original point about “real women” and “real bodies”. Who defines what real is? What makes me with all of my fluff, a more realistic version of what women look like? The very idea of what real women look like is flawed because we are all different. Not only that, but it rests more on the idea that women who don’t fit traditional ideas of beauty are flawed and therefore more authentic. It embraces the idea that a real woman is not the model you see on runways or on the cover of magazines. It excludes these women without considering their feelings and own issues with body image. It adds to the narrative instead of creating a new one.

I have a best friend who is skinny but eats like a horse. That is no exaggeration. She can eat me under the table any day and it’s largely because of genetics. Her metabolism is extremely fast so even if she slacks off from the gym for a couple of months, she’d be hard pressed to even gain a pound. By all accounts she checks off the list of all the things that make up a traditional beauty: thin but curvy, short but can photograph tall, gorgeous skin, and lovely hair. Still, as beautiful as she is, she struggles with body image. To others the very idea of someone like her not oozing self-confidence comes as a huge surprise, but it’s not uncommon for most women to struggle with body image.

Being plus sized does not mean we are the only ones who struggle to find the beauty in ourselves. Our struggle does not give us the right to insult other women or put them down in order to build ourselves up. A real woman is everyone woman. A real body is everybody. Our journey to self-love cannot be taken by putting down other people to do it. Body-shaming doesn’t just happen to women who are plus sized, it can also happen in the reverse. Placing your insecurities on others is unfair and whatever confidence is built as a result will be based on an extremely faulty foundation. All women are beautiful.

What we should strive for is inclusiveness not separation. I want to expand the idea of what is beautiful by helping others see their beautiful. You read that right. Their beautiful. Your beautiful. Own it and flaunt your beautiful. There is no one type of beauty, no “real beauty” or “real body”, but a beauty that is uniquely your own.

It’s possible to love yourself and not put down others in the process.