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Let’s Get Real

When you look in the mirror what do you see? The simple answer is your reflection but the actual answer is different for everyone. Some people see beauty and others see a face only a mother could love. The sad truth is that a lot of people don’t like what they see in the mirror and even those who do continue to see flaws that need to be changed. What do you see?

In the picture above there are three different images that the woman sees. One is of what she looks like and the other two are what she might perceive she looks like. The image on the left and right are what most of us see when we look at a mirror. We set our expectations to levels we feel we can never achieve because they are levels we were never mean to achieve. You are YOU!

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with taking inspiration from others, especially when they are positive influences. It’s okay to see certain qualities in others that you want to see in yourself when it helps to build you up. Please do not get so caught up in someone else’s hype that you forget to hype yourself up! I look at people who are bold and enjoy being authentic and encourage others to do the same.

Amber Riley, Solange Knowles, and Tabria Majors are women taken inspiration from because they keep it real even if no one wants to acknowledge it. They embrace and own everything about themselves and stilll strive to be the best version of them that they can be. They each have qualities that I see in myself and makes them feel relatable. They are bold and proud which is something I always strive to be myself.

One thing I want to clarify is that there is nothing wrong with wanting to change. Change is not always about fixing something that is wrong. Change can be about wanting to improve as a whole but it does not mean you are broken and are trying to fix yourself. What is important is that you love who you are no matter how the outside changes.

I’ve been thin, bigger than I am now, and now I’m still big but love it.

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At one point I was thin but I hated myself. I thought I was fat and ugly and my confidence was at a zero. I ate my pain away and gained a lot of weight. I didn’t even notice until I started looking at older pictures of myself. I sat there thinking about how big I was and it made me even more depressed. I was caught between wanting to binge on food to make myself feel better and trying to starve myself because I didn’t want to get any bigger. At some point I didn’t want to leave the house because I felt disgusted with myself.

It wasn’t until I prayed and my mom had a heart to heart with me that I realized just how bad it had gotten. I took a break from social media and started to force myself to go out and try to dress up a little. Surprise surprise, I actually thought I looked cute! I started putting in more effort to accentuate my figure and stepped waaaay out of comfort zone. I ignored the trolls and began to see that contrary to what others had to say I was beautiful. I stopped looking at all the negatives and my self-image took a drastic turn in the right direction.

I type all that to say…it’s okay to be a work in progress as long as you’re progressing. Don’t buy a house in Pity City because you don’t have to live there. Sometimes the people that seem the most confident are just as unsure of themselves as you are. Build yourself up in way that nothing anyone else has to say can shake your confidence. Enjoy the journey, find people who exemplify the things you want to see in yourself, and remember that you are beautiful regardless of the haters (even when your biggest hater is yourself).

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